Monthly Archives: June 2016

On Finding Yourself In Bars

Monrey was, by all appearances, a typical Monday’s child. They lived under this impression until their tenth year when they witnessed a bully push their friend to the ground.

Monrey was so angry that all they could think was darkness. They concentrated on this darkness and three testicles appeared from nothingness and wrapped around the bully, a tiny Tuesday’s child with hair like molten gold. With a great slurp the tentacles vanished, dragging the bully into their nothingness.

From that day on Monrey felt themselves put apart from the world. They felt people’s eyes on their back like fearful knives. They heard the heavy hushed whispers whenever they walked past.

Monrey… well, they did their best with what they had left. They worked to find contentment with being a part of nobody, and peace with whatever darkness their mind could call. And if there was nobody in the world like them, well that’s the only world Monrey knew.

That is until the day they met the Other.

On this day Monrey, yearning for even the slightest crumb of human society, makes their way to a dark bar on the corner of Lafayette and Third. They sit in the darkest corner, their burnt clay hands clasped too tightly together, and wait for the stares to reach them.

And they wait.

And they wait.

But they don’t feel the prick of eyes and look about the room. Absolutely nobody in the room has yet noticed them, instead they are looking at the Other who smiles a smile that does not reach their eyes.

It is perhaps typical, Monrey thinks, for smiles not to reach your eyes when you don’t have any. But does the Other have eyes? They are easy to look at but hard to see. Something about them shifts and swirls, obscuring the very them of them. It is an effect as dizzying as peering down the side of a cliff only to see yourself smiling up at you.

Smiling. The Other is smiling at Monrey now, the kind of smile that makes the sun rise, the earth spin, and Monrey’s stomach to feel like a ship lost in a storm.

Should they smile back? Wave? Worse yet, say something?

Before they can decide, the Other is there, sliding a drink towards them.

“I know what you are,” the Other whispers.

Their voice is so smooth, the type of voice that should be reserved for snakes who whisper gardens, but Monrey shakes their head, rejecting the notion.

“I am a person, and people aren’t whats. They’re whos.”

And thus the night ends like many other nights will end. Monrey goes home alone, feeling less alone.


Steak Tips & Mushrooms

steak tips and mushrooms

Serving size = 1 cup. Makes about 4. Each serving has approximately 9.75 net carbs


splash of olive oil
1 medium white onion (equal to about 2 cups)
2 cups steak tips
¼ tsp salt
½ tsp pepper
½ tsp apple cider vinegar
4 cups sliced mushrooms
Powdered beef bouillon, equal to 1 cube
1 tbsp Worcester sauce
2 tbsp sour cream
3 tbsp heavy whipping cream
2 tbsp parsley
1 cup frozen green beans


Slice your onion. I tend to cut it in half and then slice it into strips but if you want to dice it, that works too.

Microwave your frozen green beans for 2 minutes.

Wash, rinse, and drain the mushrooms.

Round up your spices and measuring spoons/cups.



In a large pan with a lid or a large pot, heat your oil and swirl it about in the pan.

Set to medium heat and add your onions. Cook them until they are nearly translucent, which might take a while. Be sure to stir frequently because onions like to get stuck on the bottom. This might take a while, I’m sorry.

Add your meat and the salt, pepper, and apple cider vinegar. Brown the meat on each side.

Add your mushrooms, bullion, Worcester sauce, sour cream, cream, parsley, and green beans. Stir well.
Cover and cook for 15 minutes.



If you can’t find steak tips/don’t want to put that much money in it, any cut of beef trimmed and cut small will work, but if you’re using tougher meat like stew meat you will want to lower the heat and add another 10 minutes to the end.

You can buy pre-chopped onions.

If you use frozen onions, you will have to defrost them and then drain them.

If you use canned mushrooms you still have to wash and drain them.
It’s fine if you use an oil other than olive oil. There will be a change in taste but not enough of one to really matter.



Well, you can see I didn’t meet my New Years posting goal. There are two big reasons for it.

The first, and probably biggest, is that it is hard to speak when nobody is listening because it is hard to know if what you are saying is worth it without feedback. I have a lot of insecurities/worries about not being good or worthwhile enough and that quickly turns into wondering why I bother, which turns into not bothering.

The second is that my tip jar has my legal name on it. Having my legal name where people can see it is so very dysmorphic, but at the same time I need the tip jar because if I’m going to be providing content, my broke ass needs a way to allow people who like it to pay me for it.

I’m back because I had a great WisCon. I talked to a lot of people I tend to feel are too cool for me and it turns out that such a thing is probably all in my head. I’m even Facebook friends with some of them now.

I’m going to look into more ways of getting eyes on this blog and that should help the first one. Hopefully after this year’s WorldCon I can get my name changed and fix the second one. But there is going to be a lot of sucking it up and a lot of pretending that I think I am good enough.